“Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”
? Hafiz
***
I usually never like receiving calls before the sun rises.
But I knew this call was different, welcome, a call to duty instead of a burden, like warm bands of sunlight that find you in bed and gently nudge you to work.
I usually hate cloudy, gray mornings; they tire me out.
But I was energized as a lightning bolt, enjoying how the misty morning meant that highways were clearer than usual, making the hospital drive faster and less stressful.
I usually enjoy having a jam-packed schedule, with tidy layers of duties separated by specific starting and ending times.
But I was bitter about having to leave the hospital room, leave you without seeing you enter the world's stage yet, knowing that I'd miss that moment.
I usually hate being left out of big moments: I want to be there to capture it all on film, or with pictures, or with a hearty, "Congratulations!"
But I smiled when I got the text that you'd decided to make your debut, because you've taught me that a memory of someone who's always been there for you -- sans glitter and postpartum jubilation -- is worth a thousand words and pictures.
I usually hate getting choked up in front of friends. I'm supposed to be the mama bear, the composed scholar, the one with a vision and a plan, who keeps everyone else's emotions in check with a friendly, "Hey, no tears!"
But when I saw you my heart squeezed, and when I spoke to you for the first time, my voice squeaked as I whispered thickly, trying not to cry...
"Welcome to the world."
***
8/14/2018. 8 lbs, 4 oz. 21 inches.
The little princess has arrived.