Hi Kuhlaunt,
I'm sorry about your losing your husband at such a young age, and so unexpectedly. At 53, I was just getting engaged for the first time Thanksgiving of '09 when my fiance passed in his sleep and I was essentially widowed. I believe no two people's bereavements are the same, so I don't believe in saying to anyone that I know how they feel. But, I'm guessing young widowhood wasn't something you'd anticipated any more than I had.
I have to say that my nieces and nephews were very real and open about their feelings with me, sometimes early on I felt they were more in tune with me and comfortable with my sadness than some adults were. Later especially, as I began to feel moments of joy and lightness make their way back into my existence, time with my nieces and nephews was tonic. I dote on and delight in them, and now sharing space with their life force, enthusiasm, smiles, and humor continues to be uplifting for me in a special way even two years beyond my loss.
How wonderful that yours get to experience time with you alone in exploration and travel! You must be like Auntie Mame to them! When you're finished with #15's trip, if you'd like to adopt another niece please let when know where I can send my application!
All the best,
Auntie Since Kindergarten