Can I ask my adult niece why she's pulled away?
I am 60 and my niece is 50. We have been close most of our lives. The only time we weren't close was in the pre email days, when we lived across the country, and didn't write or call much. Email and moving closer (though we still don't live close) re-invigorated our relationship. Even in busy, busy times, she has always been great at emailing me newsy letters about all the things she and her family are doing, and has been there for me during some difficult health times.
Then, starting a year ago, she started writing less and less and less. She had a large party to celebrate her daughter's college graduation and didn't even tell me about it in advance, so when I got the invitation, it was too late book a plane at a decent cost. I wrote to thank her for the invitation and tell her I was going to try to figure out if I could make it to the party, but got no response. In the past, she would have emailed right away to say she was glad I was coming. But this time, nothing.So I didn't go. But then she told me all about the party and showed me pictures, and I saw all the relatives who lived close by had attended and had a great time. I was so hurt.
I mentioned to her once that I hadn't heard from her in so long, and all she said was she hadn't realized it had been so long. No explanation, no response.
I saw her at a cousin's wedding a few months ago and she was perfectly fine toward me and I didn't get the sense she was mad at me.
But since then she will not write and if I send a brief email asking how she is or sharing something I've read that I know she'll enjoy, she will quickly write back 2 sentences, as in a "hi and bye" kind of thing.
I have really searched my brain and heart with honesty to figure out what I could have done, and I can't come up with anything at all.
My other niece behaves similarly ... sometimes long lapses before I hear from her. But in HER case, she's just flakey about correspondence. So I don't take it personally.
But the other niece ... it is not like her to just dump me like this.
Here is my question for this forum: Would it be too infantile and emotionally clingy to ask her why she has been so distant with me? She I just go on pretending everything is fine and I haven't noticed how she has dumped me?
I hope to get some responses. I would really appreciate it. My heart is broken and I cry over this from time to time. I miss our relationship and I don't know what I did wrong. So I am reaching out here. Thank you.