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Nieces & Nephews

I may have to quit being an aunt if my niece continues to be a teenager

By ShelbyJ , Sep 12 2017

My niece was always strong-willed, but so sweet and loving. She's almost 15 and I'm at my wits end with her (and her phone). She is so mean to her siblings and when I told her mom about it, her mom admitted that confronting her daughter is so exhausting that she doesn't do it. I understand her point, but that's certainly not the answer to the problem. I know my mom would probably laugh heartily if she was alive, but I truly believe I was not this sassy and hateful when I was a teenager. She used to love me to bits - want to do things with me; "wrap up her love" as my Christmas gift; just hang out with me. These days all she has for me is vitriol. If I'm honest, I know that I have been a terrible example this past year because my relationship with my mother's siblings (that I was never close to and pretty much always loathed) has completely gone due to a dispute over the care of my grandmother. So all she hears from me is ranting about my aunts and uncles.

But I'm seriously at the point where I don't even want to be around her. I don't want to pick her up from school or take her to youth group. I don't want to go to her sporting events - especially when she tells me she doesn't care if I'm there. Does anyone have any inspiration for me? Any ideas to help? Any hope that she will grow out of it... sometime before I tender my resignation of being her aunt?

TiaKarla replied at 5:28pm on Sep 13 2017

I'm getting mentally prepared to deal with my nieces and their teenage years. It's coming sooner rather than later and I appreciate you venting your frustration. I am considering looking at volunteer groups to take my nieces to attend with me. What I would like for my nieces to learn is how to be good human beings and that family is one of the most important groups we belong to.

If she's being rude, maybe a little , scared straight medicine may work.

Kimberlydaisy replied at 7:40am on Sep 14 2017

My niece is 11 going on 16 and I'm going through the teenage antics now! It's trying but I'm being patient. I even loaded Snapchat to my phone to stay close to her. Her attitude is slowly blossoming but we've always had a close enough relationship where I put her in her place and tell her when she's being a drama queen or too much...in a nice way. She doesn't hang out with me as much and I have to coax her to do things with me and her brothers from time to time. But I've never given up on her because I always told her I'm there when she needs me no matter what. I can tell when she needs a break from her brothers and everyone. I give her the space she is looking for to be a teenager but we make plans to hang out once a week or every two but always within two weeks. Until I see her, we Snapchat and text. It's hard because I knew this day would come but I think realizing she isn't a kid anymore and needs to go through the teen years helps. I always remind her I'm there no matter what and stay in touch. Giving her space has helped both of us and our relationship. I don't remember being as moody and having such an attitude as a teen but I'm sure my mother has a different opinion LOL The main thing is to make sure she knows you're there for her and let the relationship evolve as she gets older. I'm dreading the next few years if now is any indication but unfortunately they have to grow up. As an Aunt, it's being ready to grow with them IMO.