cartyboo
replied at
10:42pm
on
Jan 11 2015
Happy Auntie, You have my sympathy! I have been extremely close to my sister's two sons, now teenagers in high school. She cut off all communication with me when they were in middle school. Until middle school (when their schedules got busier), I had almost daily contact with the boys, and still saw them a lot even then,and they stayed over every Friday (and more on vacations). I spoke up against apathy over continuous bullying for one of my nephews, and that was that. It's been three years, and I've only seen the boys on a handful of occasions at family functions, going last year without seeing them at all. I hurt for my nephew, and he stays at the forefront of my heart. Then, I feel so bereft and like I have disappeared as an aunt who was part of their daily lives because they meant so much to me. People remind me the boys can reach out when they becomes adults. However, it hardly takes the edge off the pain now and I know, developmentally, things will never be the same because the boys are growing up. So, there is no returning to the relationship we had when they reach adulthood; I have to find my way to be ready to be the aunt of young men---not knowing how much they carry the influence of their mother's negativity towards me; remember and feel close to me, or, are even available to reconnect with their aunt. Words can not describe how painful this is to me. As HCAnders shared above about her husband, I miss the boys desperately. By the way, I've tried several times, and there is not a possibility of reconciliation with my sister. I'm in my early 50s, and it has been my greatest joy to be the boys' aunt.