Having a hysterectomy, mourning loss.
Ok, so because of health issues, I decided to have a hysterectomy. I know it is needed, and it will make me a better aunt. I also knew this was going to happen at some point , it's a family problem, I just thought I would have children before it happened. But, I am feeling really down and mourning the fact that my life did NOT turn out how I wanted. I always wanted to be a wife and mother, neither of which happened. Everyone is being supportive for the most part, but they all had their children. Yes I know I made the decision not to be a single mom, to just have a baby because I wanted one. I felt that was selfish for many reasons I won't get into here. In my head I still know it was the right decision, But now I am feeling deprived and cheated in my heart. Anyway, just needed to get that out. I have 2 Awesome nieces and an outstanding nephew. I love them with all my heart. I live with them. So I am way ore involved than most aunts and I am sooooo grateful to my brother and SIL for allowing me to be so. But again, I will never be the mother of the bride or groom. Never have grand kids. It's kinda rough right now. Thank you all for listening.