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NOT going to be in the wedding party?!

By Aunt Kathy , Aug 11 2011

As I mentioned in "Well guess who's FINALLY getting married?" topic,my younger brother is getting married. But the plot thickens! My sister and I aren't bridesmaids in the wedding party! This is (according to my mother) because my brother & future sister in law are having a small wedding & my future sister in law only wants her sisters (& I THINK one sister in law) in the wedding. BALONEY! My younger brother has had issues with ME being handicapped & my sister for being gay for over 10 years! He sees us as outcasts! My future sister in law is extremely sweet & I'm sure wouldn't dream of excluding my sister or I from the wedding! This makes my blood boil & my sister said "Then forget it!I'm not going to the wedding!" (Actually she used a more colorful word than "forget".But I won't say it.) They're getting married in 2013. I spoke to my former sister in law (oldest niece's mom) & she said,"Well maybe things will change by then." When I was venting how I felt to my mother,she remarked that she had only been a bridesmaid in ONE wedding (her older sister's) whereas I've been a bridesmaid in two (for my older brother's first & second marriages).
So okay fellow aunties.I don't want to cause WW3 amongst the family.I'm just venting here. How would YOU feel if this was done to YOU?
Aunt Kathy

AuntieJoannaNoel replied at 4:59pm on Aug 19 2011

I know I was Maid of Honor in my sisters wedding! And it was amazing! I think If i had not been I would have been ok with it, but that is ONLY because I am adoped and she is my half sister and has only known me since 2006. If i was in your situation I would be allot more upset! And after all you are his sister!
I hope things work out for you!

XOXO
Auntie Joanna

Victoriya replied at 4:07am on Aug 22 2011

Why does it matter if you or your sister are not bridesmaids? She is not your sister and it's her day. She should be able to choose her own sisters who she grew up with and loves.

Now if your angry that you brother didn't make you a best woman I could get that . He's your brother.

sjlkehl replied at 3:33pm on Aug 22 2011

I think you are being overly sensitive. When we were married I said exactly the same thing - we were having a small wedding in a tiny venue and we didn't' want a huge crowd of people jammed in to the front. I had my sisters, he had his brothers and it was small and simple. Everyone else was no less loved or a part of our day because they weren't wearing matching dresses.

I think you should ask yourself why this upsets you so much. It may be that you're reacting to your brother's history of rejection more than your future sister-in-laws decision about her wedding party.

Aunt Kathy replied at 12:41am on Aug 25 2011

After posting this, I realized days later I AM being overly sensitive. My sister was saying that SHE'S not upset anymore (after all,it's only going to be a small wedding) So why should I, right? (Besides, at the last weddings I was in, I had trouble finding shoes. both times.)