Dear Untrusted Auntie,
A patient of mine came in last week shaking; her sister was crossing the street with her 4 year old niece and a car hit first the niece then the sister. A broken leg, abrasions, and a concussion were minor compared to the trauma and anxiety that followed. So, I am tuned into your query from the mom’s perspective.
It may well be that your sister views you as a kid because you are not married with a child of your own. This is a very common prejudice in our society (particularly among Latinos, Italians, Greeks, and Jews). This is a challenge for you to show in many different ways your maturity and capability... pitch in on household chores, talk about your ideas of safety, visit your niece’s school and create private activities with her at home so your sister can observe are some of the many ways you can ‘prove’ yourself just to mention a few.
Did something happen to make your sister wary? Ask her! Were your sister and her husband just reflexively waiting in the parking lot? Are they overly cautious and protective? These are all possibilities that can be explored and diminish your feelings of being a untrusted.
‘Always and never’ are made up concepts to emphasize how you feel...substitute ‘for now’ which us authentic and makes room for change!
I am not at all sure why your dad would tell you that your sister doesn’t trust you. I suggest you have a talk with him to better understand what he means.
Keep in mind that it will be a very short time before your niece will clearly indicate whose hand she wants to hold!
Good Luck,
Natalie Robinson Garfield
TheSenseConnection. wordpress.com
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