Dear Audience Auntie,
Thank you for being a fan!
You
have “family” that expects, and maybe even takes for granted, that you are the
one who extends herself, visits, and attends celebrations. When one
person contributes more than 50 percent to a relationship, at some point
they expect they will be repaid…it’s only fair!
Sadly, that is not how
it usually works. Instead, the recipients expect it to continue. You are
changing the “contract.” In order to do this you must either have a
heart-to-heart talk with them (they are old enough to have this
conversation) or change your behavior. By not extending yourself as you
have in the past, hopefully they will fill the vacuum. I prefer the
first option.
Keep in mind they are forging their own lives,
spreading their wings, and experiencing their independence. This can be a
full-time job. Be patient and understanding and ask about their lives,
the pluses and minuses.
Perhaps, you are also experiencing
caregiver burnout tending your mother and are in more need of attention,
TLC, and support…ask for it directly. I suggest that you try to keep it
light by setting up a belated birthday or half birthday celebration as
it is never too late, and they have, somewhere inside of them, the
nurturing you gave them when they were young.
Best of Luck,
Natalie Robinson Garfield
TheSenseConnection.wordpress.com
Edited and Updated: January 17, 2018
Originally published: July 12, 2011
homepage photo: Wayhome Studio
,