Your nieces and nephews can make great strides in self-development when you actively participate in their lives. To help kids flourish, they need role models outside the immediate family and who’s on TV, especially as they reach their teen years.

Here’s just why your role is so critical:
 
- 55% of girls aged 11 to 21 agree that there aren’t enough female role models - even if you aren’t a celebrity, superstar, CEO, etc… you are a real person, who does real things, and can show girls that fulfillment, satisfaction and joy can be found no matter which path they choose in life.

- Kids find strength in stories of people who had a difficult start in life, or have overcome adversity.

- Kids admire people who look good, but also exhibit talent, grit, enthusiasm, courage and perseverance.

- Kids struggle with finding their own identity and at the same time, fitting in. You can be a real inspiration if you have an outside-of-the-box lifestyle, if you show them that you are comfortable in your own skin, and aren’t afraid to go for your dreams.

Become a positive role model for your nieces and nephews by teaching by example:
 
1. Respect, kindness and compassion: today’s society can be selfish and disrespectful. Teach respect by always reacting with respect and kindness when you yourself are disrespected. This shows kids that retaliation is not necessary and that better solutions come from reacting respectfully. Take respect further: respect for personal property, rules and laws, and teach them to always approach people with a respectful attitude. This is a great opportunity to teach boys to not objectify women and to treat them with respect - and to teach girls that they don’t need to use sex to get ahead or to manipulate others.
 
2. Career & Life Purpose: the best gift you can give is to inspire kids to be who they are. Emphasize the importance of following their dreams when choosing a career - not for money, not for family approval, not for fame and fortune, not what their favorite celebrities do… but choose your career or volunteer work  for personal satisfaction, purpose and contribution. If you can also correct the false notion that some careers are better suited to girls or boys. Help your niece or nephew explore various career options (you might be inspired to make some changes yourself!).
 
3. Responsibility: leading by your awesome example, inspire kids to own their actions and always do their best in everything from cleaning their room, doing homework, self-care, chores, caring for possessions, being responsible in their actions in friendships, etc. As kids desire more independence, help them make the kinds of choices that will encourage their parents’ trust.
 
4. Giving back: what better way to help raise compassionate adults than through community service? Plan a few volunteer days with your nieces and nephews; teach them to periodically go through their belongings and donate what they don’t use; and teach them the joy of paying it forward.
 
5. Motivation and courage: show them how to take action even when they’re scared, and to persevere when the going gets tough. Teach them to be internally motivated - doing something for the challenge and fun of it, regardless of the results. Explain to them that everybody starts off knowing nothing; everybody makes mistakes and that those mistakes are not failures, they are valuable lessons.
 
6. Healthy lifestyle: poor body image and a lack of interest in competitive sports makes for difficult teen years for many girls. Engage your nieces and nephews in a shared physical activity and healthy eating. If you’re an athlete, invite them along to cheer you on in competitive events - and be there as cheerleader for their own events. Cook healthy meals together.
 
7. Communication: many kids are face-down and texting in their phones these days, so have some face-to-face time with them whenever you can. If you live far away, Skype is a great option. Teach them to be fully present when they’re with someone - that means putting the phone away and actually interacting with you - so that they learn social skills and the art of communication.
 
8. Sexuality and relationships: you don’t necessarily have to explain the birds and bees to kids, but if they approach you with questions, you can offer advice on relationships, changing bodies (including realistic expectations), safe sex and staying true to themselves (building self-esteem and self-worth). It’s often easier for a neices and nephews to have a chat with an Auntie rather than a parent.
 
9. Learning and self-esteem: many girls shy away from science and math because of societal gender roles and a lack of female role models. If you’re in these fields, you can inspire them. Even if you’re not, teach them it’s okay to be “brainy.” Smart, hardworking girls are often ridiculed by their peers, and the wise words of an aunt can help ease the sting of unkind words. The same thing for boys. Our culture reinforces the need for boys to be super masculine rather than intelligent and sensitive. You can help boost their self-esteem by emphasizing their strengths and helping them become comfortable with who they are.
 
10. Teen pressures: today’s teens are very stressed. Unrealistic expectations, overwhelm, body image, pressures to perform and conform yet at the same time “be what you want to be.” There’s pressure to belong, and kids may be tempted to abuse alcohol, smoking, drugs and sex just to fit in. As  the cool Aunt, you can help give them a more realistic perspective and help them make choices that are true to their values - including choosing different friends who are supportive and good influences.
 
Who can be a role model?
 
Anyone. It’s a challenge for you to live up to the image you project so ultimately your aunthood can become the catalyst for self-improvement! As a Savvy Auntie, you have a golden opportunity to be that positive influence.

Photo: David Castillo Dominici
Published: July 21, 2014