My brother is two years younger than I am and married later-in-life to a woman who is 13 years younger than he. They have one daughter, my niece Elizabeth, who was born in 2007. Her parents do not permit me to do the ordinary fun things with her, like a play date, sleepovers, movies, teach her how to sew, etc.

My brother has always had anger issues and is embarrassed of our parents and me, his only sibling. I am heartbroken and I want to take the high road, but I’m not sure what to do.

[answer]
The prohibition you are suffering is quite like an epidemic in Savvy Auntie world. It is so sad and infuriating!

Kudos to you for creating a way to stay in touch with Elizabeth...keep it up. Someday, there may come a time when she is on her own and she will be able to be more connected to you. In the meantime, have you contacted your brother and his wife and had a conversation about your desire for more of a relationship with Their Daughter? I emphasize this as you must start with the understanding that they seem to need to have this recognized.

At this point I encourage you to slightly increase your communication with your niece. Try email, Instagram, Facebook or text messages.

I think your wishing for play dates and sleepovers is too out of line with their view of the relationship...sadly.


I wish you patience and good luck,
Natalie Robinson Garfield
TheSenseConnection.wordpress.com

Photo: Nosnibor137