Being a cool aunt and role model is a precious gift to your nieces and nephews. Whatever you do for a living, whatever your lifestyle, your nieces and nephews look up to you. It’s a beautiful, if unsung, role that is immeasurably helpful in raising good kids. I know because I have two nephews and a niece. I love spending time with them when I have the chance.

With Auntie’s Day upon us, it a great time to reflect on just how unique being a Savvy Auntie is. You have lots of choices when it comes to creating a relationship with your niece or nephew. Here’s how:

Role model: You can influence your nieces and nephews by what you do even more than what you say. Often, you are looked up to as being way cooler and more cutting edge than their mothers. As kids’ desire for independence grows, they start to look outside the immediate family for role models. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to help the kids look beyond the influence of the media, celebrities and pop culture. You can share your outlook, wisdom, skills, interests and talents. If your worldview and lifestyle are different from their parents, you provide a valuable alternative perspective.
 
Friend/support system: It’s easier for an aunt to be more of a friend. You generally don’t have the burden of parenting the kids, so your relationship can be more spontaneous and more focused on friendship. You may find that the kids will open up to you far more than they do to their parents. You can take on some parenting roles but what makes you cool in the kids’ eyes is the special times you share. You can do things with the kids that they don’t normally do with their parents: take them mountain biking… to the spa… vacations… volunteering… or you can just go sit on a rock and listen while they pour their heart out to you. You don’t have to buy lavish presents to bond with the kids. You don’t have to spend a dime, really. One-on-one time, an empathetic ear, words of wisdom and unconditional love will strengthen the friendship.

Secondary parent: If you live close by, you may be in the position to help the parents with child-rearing responsibilities. You can reinforce the ideals and core values that the parents are teaching, and your own perspective on life will add a wonderful dimension to parenting.
 
Buffer: In difficult situations, aunts can serve as buffers between parents and kids - particularly during turbulent teen years. Instead of taking sides, aunts can be a non-judgemental listener  and help each family member see the other side of a disagreement.
 
You will most likely fall into one of these roles as life unfolds; but don’t think that you “must” take any of these roles on. Just be sure to communicate what you are willing and not willing to do.

Photo: birdy via Flickr cc
Published: July 21, 2014