An Open Letter To Aunties: Pride Month
Written By Savvy Auntie Staff Writers
Editor's Note: As many of you know, October is Gay Pride Month - also known as LGBT History Month - and National Coming Out Day is October 11. In honor of that, and in light of recent tragic news stories of gay-related bullying, guest contributor Ezra Butler has a special message for Aunties on how they can help nieces and nephews come to terms with their own sexuality.
Dear Aunties,
Hi. I'm Ezra.
I know how these things work. We make videos, write blog posts, include story lines in popular TV shows and hope that kids will understand that it is ok to be yourself. No matter what you are - whether you are a geek, gay, overweight, a stutterer, or all of the above.
As a culture, we preach to our children through mass media that bullying is wrong and to tell someone if you are being bullied. There is even an amazing new project out right now called "It Gets Better" which was spearheaded by advice columnist Dan Savage to tell kids that life gets better and is worth living. That there is a massive gay community out there who will accept and love you. That there will be people who will see your talent and artistic ability as a positive. That, while now it may be hard, you should stick it out for a bit, because the best is yet to come. An excellent example video is that of Calvin Stowell.
While such ventures convey a message, they do not necessarily initiate a conversation.
I remember a long transatlantic conversation that I had with my Aunt over ten years ago. I was still deeply closeted but I was coming to terms with my cousin coming out of the closet. It was the first of many conversations that I had with her and was unable to have with anyone else. There is a bond between an Aunt and a nephew that is difficult to describe. Even now, as an adult, I always know that I can call my Aunt and that she will listen and answer with empathy and love. She is the yardstick of what I aspire to be with my own nieces and nephews.
She knew about my sexuality long before my parents and she was my rock during a very difficult and emotional time. I was able to be honest with her, and she was never judgmental.
I have a personal request for you:
Speak with your nieces and nephews. Maintain an open line of communication between you and them. Make sure that they feel comfortable talking to you about the good, the bad and the ugly. Share with them stories about your childhood. Talk to them about your friends, and what makes them special. Show them how it gets better. Love them and let them know it. Accept them for all they are.
Many parents cannot handle their children being different. It is not a critique, but a simple reality. But you are different. You are an Aunt. That makes you special.
Thank you,
Ezra Butler
Published: October 6, 2010