Pencils? Check. Notebooks? Check. Stress? Check!
Get ready - here comes a new school year! And while most kids are excited about seeing old friends and figuring out who the cool teachers are, social issues at school can also stress them out. Sure, they’re worried about too much homework and a life where they barely have enough time to eat. But a lot of kids are also gnawing their fingernails over what their peers think of them.
In a survey of 618 National Geographic Kids magazine readers, 36 percent said they worry about being popular, having friends or being judged on the way they look. So here’s a Savvy Auntie cheat sheet to help make that back-to-school transition a little easier.
Confidence is contagious.
“I’m worried about dealing with cliques,” wrote one NG Kids reader.
“My biggest worry is being fatter than other kids,” wrote another.
We’re not going to go all Psych 101 and claim that kids shouldn’t worry about fitting in. We all had some level of social stress - and the children in your life will, too. So it’s pointless to tell them they won’t, or shouldn’t. Instead, show them how cool it is to sport their own style. They’ll walk into school feeling confident and proud of themselves. Help them figure out that when they respect themselves, others will respect them, too.
-Take your niece or nephew on a separate back-to-school shopping trip - either to the mall or online - to help them find their signature “thing.” They’ll rock the halls with a wacky pair of shoes or a colorful pair of glasses.
-Send the kids an email listing the reasons you think they’re awesome. Is your niece a great artist? Write it down. Did your nephew help his little brother with his homework? Put it to the list. Click send. Bam - instant confidence boost! But don’t let that be the end of the email chain. Encourage the kids to add to it. See how long the two of you can keep the list going. Who knows? By the time they graduate from college, the list might hit one million reasons!
-If your niece is a whiz in her computer science class, ask her to help you build a Web page. If your nephew gets great grades on his vocabulary tests, help him organize a family Scrabble tournament. By sharing enthusiasm with your niece or nephew over their passions, you’ll help them gain self-assurance.
-Encourage the child in your life to try new things. Find out what clubs or extra-curricular activities they can participate in at school, and see which one fits their style. They might discover they want to join mock trial or a rock-climbing club. New experiences trigger the production of dopamine, a happiness-boosting chemical, so once your kids find something they truly enjoy doing, they’ll be more confident, both in school and out.
-Let kids make their own decisions. Allowing them to make their own thoughtful, individual choices will help them feel confident and in control. Try letting them decide the dinner menu when they visit you. Give them cookbooks to select their favorite recipes and let them reign over the grocery list.
Bring on the giggles.
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork! Now, don’t roll your eyes. Chances are this joke will send soda spurting from kids’ noses. Gross? Yes. Important? Absolutely. When your niece or nephew is feeling down - maybe he didn’t make the baseball team, or she was teased by a mean girl - it can affect their performance at school. But laughter releases endorphins, chemicals in your brain that make you feel good, so even the smallest smile can get your niece or nephew back on track so they have fun at school.
-Text or email a daily joke. While these jokes won’t win you a gig with The Daily Show, they’ll have your niece or nephew ROTFL (Rolling on the Floor Laughing).
-Grab the video camera and help the kids shoot a hilarious video, like a spoof of their favorite TV show or a good-natured mock of their favorite aunt. Send them the finished film to watch whenever they need a mood-booster. Just be prepared for requests to produce a sequel.
-Create a bulletin board together filled with things that make them happy, like photos of friends, drawings of pets, or favorite quotes. Hang it somewhere they’ll see each morning before they leave for school. Leave some blank space on the board, though, so the two of you can add to it throughout the year.
-Rent funny movies, play charades, or turn your living room into a comedy club where everyone performs their best stand-up routine.
Downtime is important, too.
Kids are busy. Really busy.
As one NG Kids reader said, “I’m worried that I’ll get too caught up in extra-curricular activities that I won’t have any time to myself.”
Between school presentations and football practice and piano lessons, kids feel like they barely have enough time to breathe. But a little downtime can zap stress and put them in a good mood. Show the child in your life how to slow down - way down - to help them chill out and be able to deal with their 24/7 life.
-Try to schedule a weekly or monthly quiet activity, such as taking a yoga class or stargazing, that you can do together.
-Start a book club for just the two of you. Take turns reading aloud to one another. If your niece or nephew is older, come up with cool questions you can both discuss. (Hm…what would Tom Sawyer think of Bella Swan?) If you’re a Long-Distance Auntie (LDA), hold the book club over Skype or IM.
-Make your niece or nephew a monthly music playlist of some of your new favorite jams to unwind to (age-appropriate, of course). Ask them for music suggestions to add to the playlist. Then, check the concert schedules and score tickets for the two of you, or organize a dance party and invite your niece or nephew’s friends.
-As a back-to-school gift, give the kid in your life a journal. Encourage them to take a few minutes each day to write down stories and feelings. Once they unload their thoughts onto the blank pages of the book, they’ll instantly feel more organized and relaxed.
These tips might not put an end to kids’ back-to-school blues, but they just might help calm those dancing-mambo feelings in their tummies. But we want to hear from you, too, Auntie. We at NG Kids magazine want to know what you’re doing to ease your niece or nephew’s anxieties as they head back to school.