Auntie, Why Do I Have to Go Back to School?
By Rachel Busman, PsyD, Child Mind Institute: Anxiety and Mood Disorders Center
Clinical
psychologist Dr. Rachel Busman shares some information about helping
young nieces and nephews transition to fall routines.
It’s
amazing that we are already starting to think about kids going back to
school! Summer comes and goes so quickly. As a clinical psychologist and
expert in anxiety disorders, I’m well versed in some of the concerns
that arise as kids transition back to school, face new social
situations, and confront some new (and maybe not so new) fears. Besides
being a mother and a psychologist, I am an aunt as well. I have four
nephews and one niece, and have had the privilege of watching them grow
and develop. I think family members who share caregiving roles on a
regular basis are in a great position to act as another set of eyes and
ears during a potentially tough time. But to be most effective, it’s
important for you to know what’s developmentally appropriate when kids
are going through a transition and what might be cause for concern.
Change is a normal part of life
Change
can be stressful, and that certainly includes going back to school,
switching from a summer to a fall routine, and adjusting to an earlier
bedtime. That’s why it’s normal and expected for kids to “push back” and
test some limits. “Why do I have to go to bed earlier?” or “Why do I
have to go back to school?” are questions that may arise. The good news
is that most kids are resilient and cope well when they have good adult
models. Aunts can help kids understand that change and transition are a
normal part of life and that adults can help kids feel comfortable about
changes if they’re feeling worried.
It’s also important for
aunts to know what behaviors to look out for. A child who is a little
sad or anxious for a day or two, or who presents with sporadic
oppositional or defiant behavior is par for the course. Who hasn’t had a
bad day?! However, changes in behavior or mood that are more
persistent, and that interfere with a child’s ability to do her job as a
kid (be part of a family, go to school, have fun), are cause for
concern. Children might not verbalize how they are feeling, so paying
attention to changes in sleep, appetite, interest in activities, and
overall mood is key.
Symptom Checker and other resources
What should you do if you have real concerns? The Child Mind Institute offers a
Symptom Checker screening tool that can highlight possible mental health conditions and guide adults toward next steps for getting care. Our
Guide for Getting Good Care
is another valuable resource that can help all caregivers navigate the
process of accessing mental health evaluation and treatment.
Aunts
are so important as fun, caring adults in children’s lives. Hopefully
now you are in a better position to observe and note possible areas of
concern to make sure your little niece or nephew is happy and healthy!
Rachel Busman, PsyD,
is the senior director of the Anxiety Disorders Center and director of
the Selective Mutism Service at the Child Mind Institute. She leads a
team of clinicians providing evaluation and innovative treatment to
children with selective mutism. Dr. Busman is President of the Selective
Mutism Association, the nation’s largest network of professionals,
families, and individuals with selective mutism. Continued...
Updated and republished: August 27, 2018
Originally published: August 6, 2013